ASD and 'The Decision'; time for reflection

I had intended for this article to be about Moby Dick, specifically when Starbuck objects to Captain Ahab's quest to go after the whale. However, on the drive to work, I listened to an interview that I cannot get out of my mind. More on that in a moment.

Self-reflective Aspies & others on the Spectrum will probably identify with the guilt and torture I go through when I mis-communicate and people react to my message poorly. I spend long hours analyzing what I did/said and how it could be different; think of ways to make amends; process anger over the NT v ASD communication divide; and imagine all the hidden motives that might have meant I really intended the message that was received. It is really a lot of work.

Then we come to the subject of the interview; Jim Gray on Dan Patrick's morning radio show. A year ago today LeBron James sat with Jim Gray on ESPN and announced he was going to Miami. A year later and Jim Gray, LeBron, LeBron's agent and a host of other people are still defending 'The Decision'. Two arguments that stand out for me as being the hardest to accept from their point of view are: 1. The money went to the kids and 2. The fans in the cities that did not get LeBron are bitter.

I will certainly allow that many fans in the cities that courted LeBron are bitter and angry that he did not go there. However I live in Phoenix and am mildly a Suns fan; prior to that I was an ardent Blazers fan who left during the Jailblazers years. Neither team had a shot at LeBron and I was angry about the show; I do not think I am the only fan in that situation.

And from the first word of the impending TV announcement and how the money would go to the kids I had a hard time not seeing the use of the charity angle as some sort of cynical ploy to deflect the criticism LeBron would take no matter what city he chose.

I know LeBron has a love for the Boys and Girls club but using them in that high profile of a situation really did not sit well with me. And indeed he barely had any time with the kids at the club as he had to fly off to Miami right away (courtesy of this CNNSI article).

Everyone says that they would do it again but slightly differently however they are still baffled by the reaction to the decision and cling to the answers they started with; bitter people & it was for the kids. I am not seeing any of the self-analysis that I and other ASD folk go through when someone takes our messages the wrong way.

LeBron had every right to make the decision he did; in fact I applaud he, Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh for stepping in and taking over a piece of the business usually left up to GMs and Owners. However the two year drama culminating in a vanity television show was too much.

tl;dr

In case you did not know tl;dr means "too long; did not read". You will see it from time to time on posting threads or e-mails where people are a little more, uh, blunt with each other.

Where you will probably not see tl;dr is in the workplace. Often when someone is enthusiastic or passionate about a subject they will churn out an e-mail or a report that attempts to explain their entire position in one document. And if they are lucky one person may read the entire thing and possibly two others will look at the first couple of sentences. Everyone else on the list will inwardly groan and close the e-mail/document having not read it at all.

Be sure to keep your messages short and write them as invitations for people to ask for more. Limit yourself to three or four sentences in an e-mail with the idea that the sentences will elicit a "tell me more" response.

My Capstone/Thesis on ASD v NT Communication

About a year ago I wrapped up my Masters in Industrial/Organization Psychology. My capstone (in place of a thesis) was on the communications difficulties between Aspergers and NT folk. I posted a PDF out on my business website for those of you who are interested.

http://www.asdjobsink.com/CommunicationDifficulties.pdf