Missing the truth of a position

One time a friend and I interviewed for the same position; it was offered to us both and we both wound up turning it down but for very different reasons. For me the money was not good enough to change jobs. My friend rejected it because he thought it was a horrible job. Turns out he was right and I totally missed that it was not a good job.

In examining why and how I missed that the job was not good I realized that I got trapped into seeking the approval of the interviewers rather than looking at the cold facts of the job. I cannot say whether other ASD folk experience the same thing but I can certainly hypothesize that our shared experiences might drive us to seeking approval and ignoring things that can harm us. And certainly our difficulty in realizing when someone is lying to us or doing a good sales job does not help.

In previous posts I have spoke about red flags to look for when interviewing but I will add a new piece of advice here. See if you can find someone else who interviewed for the same job or a previous holder of the position to see what they think.

5 tips for shaking off job interview anxiety

It has been a while since I posted anything from the Undercover Recruiter which is more about me being busy than their lack of quality. Once again they provide excellent tips for the job search, this time on combatting Interview Anxiety:

http://theundercoverrecruiter.com/content/nervous-wreck-5-ways-shake-your-job-interview-anxiety

Number 5, be open about your nervousness, is an excellent way to let the interviewer know that something about the conversation may seem different without flat-out admitting you have ASD.

How do you look for your interview?

There are many tips for how to dress and groom yourself for an interview. Google is a great tool for that so I will not recap that here. However, if you are like me (and many others on the Spectrum) checking yourself in the mirror just before an interview can be as rough as making eye contact. When I first read Dracula by Bram Stoker I thought that not being seen in a mirror was about the coolest thing I ever heard of and not a sign of Nosferatu.  Yet it is essential you do one last check before you go into your interview to make sure your tie is straight, make-up is not smudged or a leftover from lunch is not stuck in your teeth.

To get over the anxiety from looking in the mirror at yourself you should practice this at home long before it comes time to go to an interview. Pick a big mirror and start by looking in the mirror only at a spot that feels the safest-- e.g. your belt buckle, the reflection of the wall behind you or a hand. Slowly move closer to your eyes until you feel the anxiety kick in. At that point stop looking in the mirror and let the anxiety subside. Keep trying to push the anxiety barrier closer to your eyes every time you try it (say daily).

It can take a while. If I remember right it was about five months for me before I could look into my eyes. I also noticed that if I had a meltdown or a poor social interaction the 'anxiety line' would move back out and I would lose ground requiring me to recover the lost ground (it went quicker the subsequent times).

Once you have conquered the anxiety of looking in the mirror you can then focus on the main point which is making sure your appearance is good for the all important first impression you make on someone.

PS I found my anxiety with eye contact in general lessened too but I am not sure this is because of my mirror work or not

First steps after being laid off or fired or terminated

Being laid off or fired is painful. It is a blow to the wallet and the self-esteem at the same time. Depending on how it was handled it might even make you lose faith in humanity. Many people's first inclination is to go out and apply for a dozen jobs the next day... that is usually a bad idea. You are not at your best in the days following a termination and it will show in your application, cover letters, resumes and interviews. Even if you do get a job the latent anger and sadness will come out while you are at the new job.

So, here is a plan of action for the first days following your termination:

1. Give yourself a few days; make it through the anger phase if at all possible
2. Investigate the bureaucratic relief possibilities (unemployment, etc.)
3. Check out the legal relief possibilities if you think those are applicable
4. Take at least one day and call it a vacation day
5. Get involved in a new project like volunteering or a creative effort
6. Check in with people you have not talked to for a while
7. Read a book
8. Consider what you can put on your future resumes that differentiates yourself from other people looking for jobs
9. Then start looking

At the end of these steps you will be in a better frame of mind and able to make a good impression. I recall one time an associate of mine was laid off from his job and decided to interview the next day. He showed up in shorts, unshaven and complained about the layoff during the interview. The company he interviewed with desperately needed someone with his skills and yet still chose to pass because of the way he presented himself.

Interview Research Tip for ASD/Aspergers folk

When investigating a place to work for an interview there are the usual suspects; Google, their website, Facebook, the Better Business Bureau etc. However one place that might get overlooked is The Consumerist which a sister site to Consumer Reports. It collects stories of customer interactions with businesses.

Why look here? Because you may find yourself involved with a company that people have a lot of issues with. For instance you may never see a customer while working for a big box electronics store but the moment you tell someone you work there you will be subjected to horror stories of what it is like to shop at the store.

The information you find should not necessarily make or break your employment decision but it is something to consider, especially if you have any sort of customer interaction.

http://consumerist.com/

Interview tip: what not to do

Ignore the technical jargon for a moment and focus on the things the interviewee is doing wrong. His appearance is one thing but really it is the constant badmouthing of his previous boss that is the key. It may be tempting to speak your mind or be blunt about your previous work situation but it will only hurt you.

Bad Interview Example from DailyWTF 

Fighting Sleep Disorders for Interviews

Every interview tip sheet I read starts with "Get a good night's sleep". It makes me want to scream. Sleep disorders are pervasive among those of us on the ASD Spectrum and hit all four major areas: inability to fall asleep, inability to stay asleep, waking early and restlessness/poor sleep quality. It is almost like we go into an interview with one strike against us.

Among the various things I have tried for sleep are Valerian Root, Melatonin, Lunesta, Ambien, Tylenol PM, Nytol and various cold/flu medications. Most will work for a couple of nights and the Lunesta & Ambien were consistently efficacious-- their downside was the side effects and the grogginess the next morning.

Finally I went to a sleep specialist who prescribed Mirapex for Restless Leg Syndrome following an overnight sleep study in which my legs moved so much it was as if I had walked miles during the night. Now that, along with a regular sleep routine and occasional use of Tylenol PM have me functioning well enough.

For those of you who want to fight the sleep issue start with the usual suspects-- make a routine sleep pattern, no caffeine or other stimulants after noon, do not stay in bed while you cannot get to sleep-- and then branch out from there. Some people have had success with bright light/natural light therapies in the morning and others use a recorded book at night so they can listen to the story in the dark. There are many options.