Empathy scripts for the workplace

I read a post and comments from an April 23rd recently reprinted at Autism and Empathy that got me to thinking about the scripts we use to get by in our lives, especially at work. It can be a bit overwhelming to keep track of all the programmed responses we keep in our heads when it comes to the dynamic environments of work or school.

For me it is not so much that I lack empathy but that I have to fuel my empathic responses with sympathetic statements. The initial impact of a co-worker, friend or acquaintance telling me that they lost a loved one, are getting married or feel guilt at some action of theirs kind of gets lost in my struggle to keep up during the day. Later, when I get a moment, it may hit me "oh, I should have said..." and then I am sending an e-mil trying to repair any damage. To compensate I drilled into my brain responses and even ways to color the responses so that they do not sound programmed... this has been helped by my experiencing many of the common events people encounter. Still when a good friend of mine mentioned that he still felt guilt at the last conversation he had with his niece before her fatal car accident I was at a loss and could only speak gentle platitudes.

So much in the vein of the blog post I did on remembering periodic tasks I suggest you transpose the scripts from your head to a document that you review occasionally. Things like "what to do when a co-worker tells you of the loss of a loved one" and "congratulations on the birth of a child" can go a long way to helping you maintain and extend the social ties at work. It may seem silly but really is it any more silly than trying to understand the emotional drama that seems commonplace in the NT world? And if it helps you keep your job or even advance at work then it might be worth it.

Post that got it started: http://www.autismandempathy.com/?p=51

Update: another article I found on Autism & Empathy: On the matter of Empathy

One strategy for career longevity

At my first full-time job one of my coworkers took me aside and said "Scott, to stay around here you have to make yourself indispensable." I asked how and his response was "Do a task that no one else can or wants to do that is important to the company. Look around you, no one here will train you on what they do because they want to make sure they are the only one doing it."

No really, that is a horrible way to run a business and if everyone at the company is working like that chances are it will collapse due to loss of a key person/people. But there is something to the argument that if you know something that others at the company do not then you have a shot at being retained above other people.

So occasionally ask yourself what you do that someone else cannot or what the company cannot easily replace. If you cannot think of something find out what only one other person in the company can do and learn that or volunteer for a task that is essential.

Helper Animals

In the Job Accommodation Network presentation I mentioned in an earlier post (Working with your workplace) they mention allowing ASD folk to bring helper animals into the workplace. This may sound like a huge battle but at some companies you do not have to play the ADA card.

Business Insider has an article listing some of the companies where office pets are allowed as a matter of general policy and the benefits they provide workers. So it may be riding the NT train a bit but still, if it helps you retain and advance in your job, use it.